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The Journey to the West

Though we journey to the West We pray to the East More or less that's the way Each day begins and ends It’s a tale everyone ...

Saturday, February 16, 2019

Holding Hands in the Night

When I was a kid, no more than 13 or 14 years old, my first girlfriend - if you could call her that - offered me an invaluable lesson about life, although I didn't realize it at the time.  In fact, it's only now, a middle aged man (late middle aged, in point of fact) lying in bed with my wife in the middle of the night - it's only now that I've come to realize the lesson's full import.

Suzie was her name, cute as a button she was, with long blond hair, thick and long, cascading all the way down her back.  She was at least a year older than me, far more experienced in the ways of the world, though still virginic and regal in her bearing in point of fact.  We met at boarding school in the first and only semester of my soon-to-be-aborted boarding school career.

I was a wild one, a restless colt always pawing the dirt, and you can readily imagine how I would eagerly paw Suzie when we met on the great lawn usually a half an hour before lights out.  In an utterly becalming manner Suzie was able to still my ardor. We would stand in the dark together and hold hands.  She smiled beatifically as she explained that holding hands is a kind of sex all its own through which you can share and learn everything you need to know about someone else.

What did I know? Suzie would squeeze my hands hard enough to make them hurt, as all the energy flowed through us and filled up the night, making the stars shimmer with anticipation and desire just like a Van Gogh painting. And then the release as Suzie let go, and the energy reversed itself, making my very soul ache.


I knew less than nothing really but now, lying here in bed tonight, next to my wife whom I love with all my might, holding her hand as we lie awake in the night, I remember Suzie, and my youthful inchoate state, so impatient for life to begin, and I realize that Suzie was and still is absolutely right.



By Brad Melamed, from his 2017 series Extension Cords 


Handiwork is a distinguishing feature of our species and utterly indispensible to human civilization – the best we are capable of is most often a direct result of our manual labor.  Just think of all the creative energy that flows through our nimble forearms and down through our fingertips, making possible virtually all of our mechanical ingenuity and fine artistry – everything from deft needlepoint, drumming and guitar strumming to brain surgery and single stroke fresco mastery, we are unsurpassed in the range of what we can express and produce with our hands.  Which is not say that humans aren’t capable of great artistry even when our forelimbs are compromised by injury or birth defect, as the writer Christy Brown, who typed with his toes, demonstrated -- hands are by no means essential to our creative self-expression – it’s just that when we are ambidextrously blessed self-expression comes that much more readily to us – conveying our thoughts and feelings, whether through subtle brushstrokes or clamorously with castanets, by full and fruitful use of our two hands.

“Hands have their own histories, as the poet Rilke says. “They even have their own culture and their own beauty.  We grant them the right to have their own development, their own wishes, feelings, moods and occupations.”

So our hands are not just tools or implements that carry out the commands of our brains.  They are finely calibrated instruments in their own right, bundles of nerves not unlike antennae, through which we gather and impart information about the world.  Energy courses through us radially and passes out through our fingertips in an effortless way; but with a modicum of effort we can learn to control and better direct that flow; we can begin to wield our hands like batons or wands or dowsing rods, in order to conduct energy and impart a spark with or without directly touching whatever it is we’re working out.  They are essential conductors of human electricity – our primary means of positive exchange with the world, most of all life’s give and take.  


A Short Poem on Freedom and Constraint




If not in my own
In whose mudra
Am I held whether
Sleeping or awake

Losing self control
When I ceases to exist
In this Golden Light 
Is found freedom
And constraint

Eyes open or closed
How and where
Is this energy bound
From keter to tiferot
It keeps flowing beyond



NYTimes/Kabbalah chart by Brad Melamed




Wednesday, February 13, 2019

An Old Translation Lost and a New One Found

This afternoon I came across an image on Twitter ( a photo by @maryfrancesness) and it brought to mind one of my favorite Wang Wei poems.  I looked and I looked but I couldn't find my old translation of the poem - it was one of the first Tang poems I ever remember translating.  Simple as it is, it captures much of the ethos of Tang poetry - it's as much a meditation as it is a poem, a moment of solitary reflection that is preserved for posterity in four lines of verse. So really it is a shared meditation, shared that is between writer and reader in a simple and intimate way -- here's what I saw in the mountains one day.  It's such a short beautiful poem, I figured why not translate it again, and here's the result together with the photo that sparked my recollection.




Deer Park (by Wang Wei)

An empty mountainside
No one to be seen
But the echo of voices resounds
Sunlight reaches deep into the woods
Again the green moss glistens


鹿柴 (王维)

空山不见人
但闻人语响
返景入深林
复照青苔上


And here is the poem that I tweeted in reply to @maryfrancesness and in homage to the great Wang Wei:
On a sheer face of stone
Where none can be seen
Deep inside a crevasse
A green sward glistens






  

Sunday, February 10, 2019

The Dream of Jacob's Ladder


-->
-->
And then the angel of presence
Uriel through a loophole
Fell to the lower bounds
Where long she dwelled
Unconscious
All feeling and no thought
Flowed through her veins
But when her lips parted
Peradventure
She decanted pure
Honeyed truth
And nothing else
As distilled silence
Covered the world
Completely like a fresh
Fallen blanket of snow

But it was Jacob
Who couldn’t leave
Well enough alone
Bothered by all the silence
He trampled on it
Proclaiming loudly
I am the firstborn
Of every creature which God
Has ever endowed with life
Truly the only chosen one
A man seeing God is far better
Than merely abiding
Sightless in the presence

Henceforth unceasing controversy
Eventually did come
Perpetual clamor and strife
As they wrestled
All night long and in truth
Nobody ever really won
And soon they altogether
Forgot about the ladder
On which they had been standing
One rung after another had unbecome
Until the dream itself was undone




Thursday, February 7, 2019

The Trees of Winter

Most of all I too
Love the trees of winter
Far more articulate than
Those of spring summer or fall
They speak directly to the sky
Without adornment
Like brain folds or sea coral 
They make clear their adherence
To a fixed set of rules 
For continuous growth
With scienter of life and
Precise enough in their branching
To make a Fortran coder blush


(Not sure but I think this great image is by the South African artist William Kentridge)

Monday, February 4, 2019

Night Storm

Nothing reared its head
Unnerved and encumbered
Self more fictive than real
From time dispatched
The bedsheets sundered
Stripped of all pretense
Like a dog indulging in
A disconsolate whimper
Amidst the ongoing thunder