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Sunday, July 22, 2018

A Poem May Be Ghostwritten Too (for Allan Bridge)

But what does it mean 
Is only to say a poem
May be ghostwritten too
As the sound of the wind
Is transcribed by the leaves
As the wind rustles in and through
Withal the texture of an elusive dream
Hastily scribbled upon awakening
It's a note of unknown origin  
That passes back and forth 
Across the vast bardo
From me to you

*  *  *  *  *

Over the last twenty years there have only been a handful of occasions that Allan has appeared to me in a dream, a few times as a voice  disembodied or else in the guise of a symbol such a replica of majestic bridge that I'm trying to fabricate.  These dreams are always quite notable.  Last night for the first time I can remember he appeared in my dream as himself and spoke to me directly.  Here's the dream scenario:  I was attending a private screening of a movie I had made about Allan's life.  On the receiving line after the screening, I was exchanging pleasantries with a few friends when someone mentioned that Allan was still sitting inside the theater. I drifted back inside and there he was, in the back row, sitting with a few people I didn't recognize.  He paid the movie a tepid compliment and then looked at me searingly. But what does it mean? he asked.  I felt immediately thrown on the defensive, groping for an excuse or explanation of what I was trying to say, and then I awoke from my dream, with Allan's question echoing in my brain.  

Allan Bridge aka Mr. Apology

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